Introducing Felquandeisha (Fel-Quan-Deeshaaaaa) I will let you make your mind up about her appearance, but I will just add that she is from the Bronx – do not ask how I know her, it’s a long story.
*chews gum with mouth open* oh Raynelle honey! How you doin'? *blinks overzealously under turquoise eye shadow* Mmm mmm mmm do not even AKKKSSS how ma day has been gurl. I have HAD it up to Jesus' rear end and back *talons point to the sky* with these MEN in ma life, ya feel me?
Oh these? Yeah ma babies daddy got them for me the other day, you know because I was about to Twitter his foolish ass up with all that reckless ish he been saying about me, you know. I was not put on God's earth to be checking these wack ass men who be buggin. No, no, Obamaneisha's farrrtther is the iyt one, it's Sha Nay Nay's that is giving me heyylllll running his mout. He play ball for tha N.B.A. Yeah Raynelle honey, THE N....B....A. *snaps fingers* He gots money, so he should be treating ma feet like they Queens of their own little 5 toe country.
Christian Louboutin Triboclou 100 Zebra Print Calf Hair and Python Ankle Boots £1,195
Mr Chrissshhhian Lou-Beauu-TIN. Ya don't think a chick like me can be rocking deeez red bottoms? Honey, I gots da Apple Bottoms, I gots tha boots you did wit tha furrr and now I gots deez scrumptalicious foreign animal lookin boots to match ma newly acrylic'd nails - ma cuzzinnn has hur own salon, hit me up if ya wanna deal honey *winks to reveal gold tooth*.
I love deeze becuz I am ratchet ALL. DAY. LOOONG suga.
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Brilliant, just absolutely brilliant.
(Unbelievably available at Net-A-Porter)